Children’s whims
Often the whims of the child put their parents at a dead end, especially if this is the first child in the family, because the most important thing in such a situation is to determine whether something is really happening with the baby, or is it just a whim. And it is natural that every parent wants to understand the reason why the child is naughty.
The habit of acting up and craving for whims can form in the child from infancy, if adults and parents ignore all the signals and signs of the child until he shouts out of voice. Thus, when the child is growing up, whims become his habit, because from childhood he realized that this is the only way to attract attention. Also, over time, such children miss the so -called “preludes” and ordinary requests and immediately switched to a scream. Often in such situations, parents carry a child for doctors, stuff him with sedative drugs, but you just need to talk to the baby and explain to him that in order to hear him not necessarily screaming. After all, it is enough just to express your request or necessity, but the most important thing in such a situation is to learn how to listen to your child and respond to his needs, as well as completely ignore the loud -haired concerts and performances of the child.
But this does not mean that all capricious children are the result of their ignoring by parents. I want to try to shout any child at one or another age. And all because he begins to feel the need to declare himself. Children’s psychologists note that at about three years the child begins a certain stage in his development, which is expressed in whims. Thus, the child is trying to show that he is an independent personality. And as evidence, he chooses whims simply because he has not yet learned how to.
A common cause of children’s whims is the difference in views on raising a child between parents. Thus, one parent requires one thing from the child, and the second parent at the same time requires the completely opposite. Thus, the child cannot choose which of the parents to obey and how to behave at all. And if one parent refused to him something, he begins to vine and act up in the calculation that the second parent will allow him what was forbidden first.
Children’s whims can also be a way of knowing the world and communicating with adults. After all, the child does not yet know and does not realize how to communicate with parents correctly. If, through whims, the baby learns to manipulate one of the parents, he will stubbornly achieve what he wants in this way, because once he was already shown that he works.
If you want to avoid the vagaries of the child, forbiding him something, always explain why you did this and not otherwise, and what may be the consequences of his disobedience. If, for example, you are not going to or can not buy a child to a toy in the store, but are forced to take it with you there, talk about it before coming to the store. It is important to initially explain to the child that all toys, gifts and sweets do not appear out of nowhere, that all this is the result of the work of mom and dad.
Do not write off all children’s vagaries only for impregnation in parenting by parents. Given the fact that children cannot yet control their emotions, the child’s whims can have natural reasons: for example, if the baby is tired, hungry or did not sleep.
And it is very easy to distinguish the need for a child from his whims: if a child can, without screaming, ordinary words, say that he needs or what he wants, or at least in the first sentence to describe his problem, then this is not a whim. If all the conversations with the child are reduced exclusively to screams, and he cannot really explain what he did not like or what he does not want – this is a whim.