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Children’s jealousy: how to prevent tragedy?

  • April 11, 2018

Sibling rivalry

The world has repeatedly shocked the terrible stories about how older children in the family threw babies out of the windows, strangled and caused pain when parents did not leave them unwrittenly. What turns the once affectionate kids into monsters who hate younger brothers and sisters? Psychologists call this phenomenon of childhood jealousy and urge parents to take it seriously ..

Children’s jealousy in the soul of an older child arises at the moment when he feels a lack of parental attention. Of course, young mothers and dads, after a second child appears in the family, becomes much less, as a rule, the first -born suffers from this.

Often, parents cannot understand why their older child has changed, they do not want to see that they themselves caused such metamorphosis. Instead of understanding the causes of inadequate behavior, they punish older children, provoking aggression.

Children’s jealousy can manifest itself in different ways: the first-born becomes closed and sad or, conversely, shows cruelty against others, a new brother or sister.

The problem is that older children see their troubles in new members of the family and perceive them as “separation” who took the attention of mom, dad, grandmother and other family members. At the first opportunity, children offend babies or save offense for a long time, waiting for a convenient occasion to get rid of the opponent.

So that children’s jealousy does not result in tragedy, parents must prepare the older child by the time the family replenishment, the child should be sure that the newborn will bring the joy and the attitude of parents to him will not change.

The most effective way to arrange the first -born in the new member of the family is to involve him in the preparation of the long -awaited event. Mom can consult with an older child, which bath to choose for a newborn, ask for help when buying sliders and an open -up. Dad, if the eldest child – a boy – invite him to collect a crib. The child will feel his significance and feel like a full -fledged family member. In addition, he will feel responsible for his brother or sister.

When the newborn is brought to the house for the first time, do not neglect the request of the older child to hold the baby, let him do it (naturally, carefully supporting the newborn). Parents should not overload the first -born with excessive requests for help, otherwise this process will turn into hard labor, negative emotions will begin to develop against the new family member.

No matter how much mom and dad are busy, you must definitely find time to chat with the older child, find out how he is doing, what is worried about, are there any problems in school. The conversation can last only 10-15 minutes, but the firstborn will understand that it is important for parents and will not feel lonely.

By the way, there are still small nuances that form complexes in the older child, for example, when mom and dad buy something to the baby, but he does not. It doesn’t matter how many years to the firstborn, be sure to do it pleasant, because he deserves it.

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